"I'm an undercover cop" Pt. 1

So, at an unusual circumstance... I got someone arrested.

That's right, my anti-authoritarian, Against Me! loving ass got someone arrested.

I was on my way to the park, and as I'm crossing the street- a gray car pulls into the EXIT side of the park and begins to go through. The closer I get, I hear Rusty (AKA: you don't fuck with Rusty) yelling at the top of his lungs yelling "GET BACK HERE MOTHERFUCKER". When I ask what happened, that gray car seemed to almost collide with Rusty as he drove through the "ENTER" side and as he almost collided- the guy flipped fof Rusty. A littler later, as we're all hanging out at the picnic tables closest to the playground portion of the park, the cops show up (though not surprisingly). When the cops arrive, the guy who almost hit Rusty, (Nate) walks around the side of the concession stand towards the cop car. Nate talks to the cop for about ten minutes before the cops drive away.

Before I go much farther- it must be explained that this fellow Nate has fucked with people for quite a while. He tells people he's an undercover cop and always calls and tips the cops up on us at the skatepark for not having helmets and such. Even people at the table were remarking on how he's claimed to be a cop. This guy is about 20, he's OBVIOUSLY not a fucking cop.

Back to the story; as Nate walks back the way he came, we all start calling him a "NARC" and telling him to "Fuck Off" or "Go Home!". He hears our group of 25 people (no lie) and walks over towards our picnic table. He says "Alright, which one of you wants to say shit to my fucking face?!", I look over at Rusty who is just smoking- and then I step up. I take a few steps towards him, IN THE LEAST AGGRESSIVE MANNER YOU WOULD EVER FUCKING SEE, and he points to me and angrily goes "YOU! GET OVER HERE!", I walk over to him and put my hands up, not in an offensive or defensive way- just my hands by my head. The rage in his eyes is beyond anything I'd ever seen in my entire life. He looks and yells "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO SAY?", I don't really say anything- but I see the anger growing in him, so I smirk a little. He grabs my wrists and pushes me back a good three or four feet. Now I have fun, I yell in his face "YOU JUST HIT A MINOR, I'M 17! NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!", directly after this- he starts looking shocked, but not scared- so Shay gets in his face and screams about he's an ignorant fuck for hitting a minor and how he can hit her and she'll hit him back and kick his ass. He gives her the finger and walks away while everyone yells at him. I ask the crowd if I should call the cops and they go "Fuck yes, he fucking assaulted you.", I ask Rusty and even Rusty approves- so I make the call. They ask the specifics- and then we wait. We see the cops on the other end of the park and then we all run up to that direction.

When we get there, the cop asks us what happened and we all tell him. I start getting in Nate's face, and then we tell the cop about Nate claiming to be a cop and cop looked like he even wanted to beat the fuck out of the guy. Nate all of a sudden goes "YOU GUYS TRIED SELLING MY NEPHEW COCAINE!", I go "What the fuck is your problem? Like anyone here really sells cocaine to little kids.", and the cop essentially lets us argue. We bitch at each other and then the cops take statements from Chris Molina, Rusty and Myself. We give them statements and then we watch as they handcuff and arrest him.

After this, we all stand and talk shit about the situation. I didn't want to hit the guy because I want him to feel some long-term pain for this shit. I'm not a spiteful person, but you just SHOULDN'T impersonate a police officer under ANY circumstance for ANY reason, EVER. The fucking guy just didn't get the hint somehow. I feel bad because something bad will probably happen to him, but he should man the fuck up and not be such a douche-nozzle.

- Josh.