America's health care system sucks.
Straight up.
It's not even the government anymore, it's just asshole, lazy doctors that fucking ruined it for me.
I had my physical for McDonalds today, which I didn't care- I knew it was part of the procedure and I didn't really mind. BUT I had a physical like three months ago and the cock-munch director of medicine goes "Yeah, usually it's a year before you need to get a physical for your work permit... but it's against MY policy... so you're gonna have to come back in for a physical if you want us to sign off on your sheet.", so that kinda pissed me off.
Still, it was a rule- I didn't care.
So I go into the lobby and I wait around. There's shitty diagrams and warning all over the walls and a group of ladies chattering about baby's daddies (I'm not lying, or kidding there). So I wait for a good 20 minutes until these two kids come in (though kid could be argued, they were like 14) with a toad. There's an instant freakout and everyone is yelling and stuff. The kids' mom comes out of the exam room and the kids run out of the place as this family is walking in. Seeing as I'm already standing around awkwardly, I hold the door open for the family coming in.
As I'm forced to listen to their mindless jabber of "how does' snakes' be unholy!", the nurse thankfully whisks me away with "Joshua?", and I'm off to the exam room. I talk to my nurse for a bit as she weighs me and looks at me to write down my sheet. She finishes her end and goes "Alright, well- the doctor will be here to see you in a few minutes.", so I get bored. After a half hour passes I call Cameron and go "If you never hear from me again- it means that I've killed my fucking doctor." and I hang up.
About 30 seconds after I hang up, student doctor "Katie" walks in to administer my physical. She goes through the normal stuff of blood pressure, heart-rate, etc... then she administers the question portion.
"Do you smoke?"
"Nope"
"Do you drink?"
"Define drink"
"I don't know, ummm.. the past two weeks"
"Then no"
"Well when was the last time you drank?"
"Three weeks ago."
"Can I pretend you didn't say that so I can still have your work permit filled out?"
"Please do."
"Okay, do you do drugs?"
"What would you define as a drug?"
"Pot, Pills, you know."
(She stares at me like she knows I'm a fucking pill-popper, but I decide against not having my permit filled out.)
"Not at all, I thought you meant caffeine, or something like that."
She finished the rest of the questions and left the room. I could tell that she knew I was fucking weird. She saw the Against Me! t-shirt on and her cute freckled face knew at that point that I would drink with her after work and do tons of Xanex with her.
After another 30 minutes, my doctor "Keith" comes in and goes- alright, you can go- pick your permit up at the front desk on your way out. Katie and I say goodbye to eachother and I happily leave that hellhole. As I'm walking out, "Keith" comes up and goes "Oh, I forgot- are you having any medical problems?", I go "Not at all." then he asks "So you're not really having things where you just pass out? hmmm... okay- go ahead.", what the fuck?
I fucking HATED it.
I'd like to see Katie again though.
- Josh.
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4 comments:
I'm trying to get another job that dosent require a permit. Shit dude, working until midnight was fun, even if I had school. All these physicians want is that money though. Katie sounds fucking hot! WOO-HOOO!
it's quite true.
I'm not sure why, but I think she sexually abused me.
she was friendly with that stethoscope... too friendly.
What the fuck, a toad?
dude, I have no clue.
It was my first time at this doctors.
It was in Warren, so yeah. haha.
My other doctor's practice moved to Indiana.
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